Crazy in Love
by Zenelly
Summary: AKA. Five ways Demyx tried to get Zexion to sleep with him  emphasis on tried  and the one time Zexion finally had pity on the poor boy. Happy Zemyx day, everyone even though I'm late!


**Disclaimer: **Woot woot, not mine, not mine.

**Author's Note: **I AM LATE. I AM LATE, AND I AM SORRY, but you know, work and all. Have fic.

**Dedications: **To my Beta **Evil-Pixie-Dust**, because she is having a bad day, and I hope this will make her laugh.

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><p><strong>Crazy in Love<strong>

**(AKA, five ways Demyx tried to get Zexion to sleep with him (emphasis on tried) and the one time Zexion finally had pity on the poor boy)**

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><p><strong>1. Direct approach<strong>

"Sooooo, Zexion."

Leather-clad fingers twitched around the book in their grasp. With a sigh (that he tried to keep quiet, really, he did), Zexion closed his book almost tenderly and shifted in his chair to face the Ninth member of Organization Thirteen. He asked caustically (after watching the blonde squirm for a few minutes, because really, it was too early in the morning for this, and wasn't Demyx normally still asleep at this point in the day?), "Yes, Number Nine?"

Demyx grinned brightly at him. "Guess what today is!"

"No."

Deflating easily, Demyx sighed, slouching and scowling at Zexion. "Oh come on, humor me. You didn't even try. C'mon! Guess!"

"Absolutely not, Number Nine. If you will not tell me, I see no reason to pry. Besides," Zexion quirked an eyebrow at him. "I really don't care to try."

"Please just guess?"

Zexion merely turned around in his seat and reopened his book.

"ALRIGHT, FINE, IF YOU'RE GOING TO BE THAT WAY." Demyx tugged Zexion's book from his grasp (Zexion noted distantly that even the blond _idiot_ was careful with _his _books), and plopped down in his lap, hips settling in a _very awkward area_ that Zexion was _completely uninterested in. _"If you don't want to know, then…" Demyx nipped at the side of Zexion's throat, drawing an embarrassingly confused sound from the shorter man. "I can just show you."

The blond grinned as he felt Zexion beginning to shift beneath him but let out an indignant squawk when the only movement Zexion made was to portal out of the chair, managing somehow to deposit Demyx on the floor while he stalked away, brushing his sleeves off irritably and checking the delicate binding of his book.

Sitting up, Demyx rubbed at the back of his head. "Well, that didn't go too well."

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><p><strong>2. Sexy dancing<strong>

Zexion entered his room, only to immediately turn around and attempt to exit.

"Hey, hey, hey, no, get back in here, all of my planning is ruined if you're not in here!"

"DEMYX, get OUT of my rooms this _instant_. How did you even- and _why are you dressed like that?_" Zexion whirled around and hissed, fists clenching.

Demyx swung down from his pole that he had been dancing around, clattering across Zexion's floor unsteadily. "I thought it would be sexy! Do you not like it?" He looked down at himself, bending awkwardly to see with the blue and silver corset tight around his ribs and waist. (Zexion almost choked as he saw the garter belt and thigh-highs the man was wearing. And those _heels_, god, how could he even walk?)

Stiffly walking further into his room, the Cloaked Schemer slowly circled the pole, eyeing it like it was dripping poison. "How the hell did you install this pole?" he asked incredulously.

"Uh, I asked Xiggy. To help."

Zexion twitched. "You let _Xigbar_ into my room?" He wheeled to glare at Demyx, gesturing widely at the other's body. "And where did you get those clothes, anyway?"

Shifting, and almost falling over because of it (really, those heels were a study in ridiculous footwear), Demyx laughed a little, nervous, always so nervous. "I uh, nowhere? Axel's room? What makes you think these aren't mine?"

"Because I know that you would never wear those shoes if you could help it because your balance is terrible. It doesn't matter. Get out."

"But Zexy-"

"No, get out of my sight." As Demyx turned around to leave, Zexion thought of one more thing. "Oh, and Demyx?"

The blond turned around hopefully, wobbling in his shoes. "Yeah?"

"Put on some real clothes. NOW."

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><p><strong>3. The Maid outfit<strong>

Almost immediately upon arriving in the library for the seventh time that day, Zexion spat out, "Those do _NOT_ qualify as real clothes."

Demyx straightened when it became obvious that Zexion really wasn't interested in staring at his daintily revealed ass, readjusting his poofy skirt as he did. He flattened the front of his black and white maid outfit, pouting as he said, "Yeah they do! This covers more than the last outfit!"

"BE AS THAT MAY, put your cloak back on! The Superior will have your head if he catches you running around out of uniform again."

Demyx only crossed his arms and tapped his foot, delicate heels tapping loudly on the library floor. "Zexion, it's a _holiday_. Even Xemnas has to loosen up!"

Striding into the room (ignoring the way Demyx's legs looked in those stockings and heels), Zexion began sorting his books to their proper positions. "There is no holiday today, Number Nine. It is a day of no remark. As always. Now, get redressed."

"B-but, Zexy, I make such a pretty French maid! And besides, you _have_ to celebrate holidays! Even the stupid ones like all the bank holidays. And this one isn't stupid! It's the best one eve-well, okay, second best holiday ever."

Zexion cocked his head and sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose. "I am going to regret this," he muttered before asking louder, "What is the best holiday, then?"

Demyx grinned widely, face flushed. "July 31. National _orgasm day_."

"You do realize that technically we do not have that calendar, and therefore we do not even celebrate these, right?"

"You do realize that I don't care, right?"

"Yes I realize, now get out."

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><p><strong>4. Reasoned argument<strong>

"I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE."

Zexion looked up slowly, bracing himself for… not Demyx in his normal clothes. He blinked at the blond and leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms curiously. "At least you're properly dressed again."

Throwing his hands up in exasperation, Demyx flung himself on the floor in front of Zexion, scooting until he could rest his hands on the chair's arms. "Will you please, dear god, just _sleep with me already?_ I just want to have SEX WITH YOU ALREADY."

"Oh, is _that_ why you've been doing this all day?"

"YES, FOR THE LOVE OF KINGDOM HEARTS." Demyx scrubbed furious and nervous hands through his hair. "Look, I was on a, uh… a mission today. And I found out something interesting about what day it is, so I decided that TODAY WOULD BE THE DAY."

Zexion tilted his head curiously, gesturing for Demyx to continue. "Where did you go?"

"Earth," Demyx said nervously, avoiding Zexion's eyes.

"You mean that one world with all the horse-less carriages where no one has any clue how to work magic but they seem obsessed with it anyway and can tell stories from other worlds without even knowing they are out there?"

"Yeah, that's the one. See, there, today is June ninth. Ninth day of the sixth month. And in one of those countries…." Demyx trailed off, face flushing. "Uh, in one of them, today is National Sex Day. And it's on the day that corresponds to our numbers. I uh," he shrugged, movements jerky and nervous, "I took it as a sign, or something like that that doesn't sound nearly so corny, oh my god."

Zexion quirked an eyebrow. "Charming."

"So will you sleep with me?" Demyx asked hopefully, shifting even closer to Zexion than before.

"Absolutely not, Demyx. Now get out of here, I have work to do."

"… DAMN IT."

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><p><strong>5. Serenading<strong>

Zexion opened his door, finally giving in to the caterwauling that had been going on for the last half-hour outside his room. "Alright, Demyx, I'll bite. What are you doing?"

"Serenading you! It's supposed to make you love me!" Demyx shouted, finishing a power-chord on his sitar, swinging his arm wide as he followed through. "OH ZEXY, 'CUZ YOU CAME AND YOU GAVE WITHOUT TAKING!"

Wincing, Zexion rubbed at one of his ears. During a pause for breath, he yelled, "It's not working!"

"Oh," Demyx said dejectedly. Then he perked up. "I'll try a different one. Uh… wait, I'm thinking…. Oh! THERE'S SOMETHING 'BOUT THE WAY YOU LOOK TONIGHT!"

"STOP." Zexion coughed, muffling a laugh in his hand. Taking a breath to recover, he called out, "How did you learn to sing like that anyway?" in a desperate bid to keep Demyx from embarrassing him any further.

Demyx laughed nervously. "You remember how I told you I found out what today was?"

(Zexion felt dread growing in his lower abdomen.) "Yes?"

"I, uh, I might have lied a little bit. I wasn't… really sent there for reconnaissance. I uh, I might have gone there for fun. And to, uh, try out for this thing they call Broadway."

"Broadway," Zexion repeated unbelievingly.

Demyx grinned up at him, guilt seeping through every single one of his pores. "Y-Yep. But while I was there in line, this blond guy that everyone in line was, like, _dying_ over, he came up to talk to us and that's when it was brought up. So… you can totally blame him. Not me. Definitely not me."

"What in the world is Broadway?"

"It's this _thing_, you know, with singing and dancing and it's fantastic, and I almost got in, but I sorta failed on the part where we had to—h-hey wait, where are you going? Zexion, why are you walking away?"

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><p><strong>+1. Candlelit Dinner<strong>

Zexion entered his rooms for the twelfth time that day and for once, he merely stopped and looked. Because there, in the center of his rooms (where the pole had been earlier), was a small table set for two, candles burning gently on it. Demyx stood to one side, hands twisting nervously.

"H-hey."

Allowing a small smile to turn the sides of his mouth, Zexion nodded congenially. "Hello, Demyx. What is this?"

Demyx laughed and scratched the back of his head. "A last-ditch effort, really. I made dinner. For us. You know, candle light and all, supposed to be romantic. I'm rambling, aren't I?"

"Yes, you are." Zexion wandered over to the table, his smile growing slightly before he actually _looked_ at the food on it. "Why does it look so burnt?"

"I miiiiight have asked for Axel's help with it," Demyx admitted sheepishly.

Zexion just lowered his face to his palm. (He also considered simply keeping it there. It would save him time in the long run, but it would also be like admitting defeat, so he raised his head once more.) "And?"

"It… miiiiight have ended in complete disaster."

"So I noticed," Zexion uttered in a choked voice. He surveyed the dinner spread with one eyebrow constantly raised and the other twitching upwards to meet it every once in a while. Really, how did one _burn_ salad? Zexion didn't even think there needed to be any heat _applied_ to it, but apparently Axel preferred his food charcoaled.

"Oh god, you hate it don't you."

And that was the final straw.

Zexion burst out laughing, one hand pressing to his mouth in a vain attempt to quell the chuckles, because _really? THIS_ was Demyx's final plan? Burnt food and candles?

"You're … you're laughing. You're actually laughing, why are you laughing, this is NOT good," Demyx babbled. He started pacing and muttering, looking well and truly upset before Zexion managed to rein in his amusement long enough to choke out:

"Get on the bed."

Demyx froze. "What?"

"Get on the bed, Demyx. I cannot watch you make a fool of yourself any longer. It was amusing earlier today, but now it's just painful." Zexion cornered the taller man and dragged him down into a tender kiss before shoving him back onto the mattress. "And now I'm going to teach you how to do things _my_ way."

'_Fuck yes,'_ Demyx thought dazedly, leaning back to enjoy his holiday.

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><p>FFFF, I'm so sorry this is late, seriously I am. But I actually had to do work yesterday and I was tired by the end of it, but *waves hand* no matter, seriously. It is here, and it is hilarious. (to me, anyway)<p> 


End file.
